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Leopard

I mean…you can’t even wrap fish in it.

Author: admin  |  Category: Local Patronage, Uncategorized

Ok.  So you’re ready for a website.

You’ve run though your choices and eliminated the flawed possibilities.

1) Do-it-yourself?  The Web-equivalent of Amateur Poetry Recitation at the Dabbler’s Cafe.  Ok.  Scratch that one.

2) Hire a Full Time Internet Know-it-all?  No.  You just want a website, not a funky live-in brother-in-law who eats you out of house and home for the rest of your life.

3) Hook yourself up to yet another Intravenous Monthly Money drain?  X-Bucks a month from now until for ever from you to McWebsiteDaddy.  AKA: You’re not a Face.  You’re not a Name.  You’re just one of McBillions of McCreditCardNumbers McServed and don’t you dare try to call us and talk to a real person because you think you’re so McSpecial or something.

4) Website Templates.  Yes, yes, yes!  Plastic Posers wearing someone else’s warm, sweaty gym shoes.  Let’s just run next door and borrow our neighbor’s toothbrush.

In the end, the most effective conclusion, of course…Contract a Pro.  Someone you can get to know.

Smart move.

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You don’t play Hopscotch with your Dentist

Author: admin  |  Category: Uncategorized

There are many areas in life where the proper approach to business and spending your money is to bargain hunt each and every time you have need of a particular good or service.

Take Tires, for instance.

If you own a vehicle, sooner or later, you’re gonna need new tires.  Of course, you want quality tires.  No one is going to take a chance on something so vital to their personal or familial safety.  But, thanks to Industry Standards and some justifiable degree of Regulatory Oversight, just about any tire is going to get the job done, discounting some impact on performance and longevity.  In light of that, when the tread starts to wear thin, there’s a good deal of Prudence in the practice of scanning through the paper to find out who’s having a sale.  Let’s face it…Even cheap Tires are expensive. And it doesn’t really benefit you much to grant loyalty to a particular tire distributor, independent of getting the brand and model you may prefer.  But, in this case, when it’s all said and done, you can afford to jump from source to source because Price drives tires.

But nobody plays Hopscotch with their Dentist.
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The “My7MinuteMcWebSiteSpaceO’Matic” Mistake

Author: admin  |  Category: Americana, Imagery Member, Web Design

Ah, the Fast Food Formula.

The illusion of Economy and Efficiency at the expense of Gastronomy and Nutritional Deficiency.

The Minimum expenditure of Time. The Minimum investment of Collateral. The statistically derived Minimum Quality acceptable, offset, undoubtedly by sheer Ubiquity and the infallible Reproducibility of our National Icons of Culinary Pulp.

Is this what our Cultural Quintessence has been boiled down to, America?

Can’t we stave off this craving for crappy snacking slapped snappily in happy wrapping?

Serve me, the McBillions cry. Gimme, gimme, gimme!…indigestion.
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We’re Local. We’re Yokel. The Death of Personality: Under New Management & The Franchise Demise

Author: admin  |  Category: Americana, Local Patronage, Person to Person

Call you “Old Fashioned.”  You can take it. 

“Folksie?” “Provincial?”  Maybe.
 
You know who you are, and don’t need some Metropolitan Marketing Guru to slap some label on you.  But, one thing’s for sure.  They can’t call you Cookie Cutter.  And no one dare to call you CORPORATE. 

What happened to Tom’s Farms?  They upgraded to Tasteless Glossy from Rustic Charm.  

I’m feeling lost.  My neighborhood Shade-Tree mechanic got so busy that he burned out and sold out to some guy who picked up his list of clients, and then (likely) promptly lost all but the few fleets of vehicles already under contract.  I guess if you’re responsible for a fleet of cars and trucks, you’re not looking for the personal touch.  You’re looking at “the bottom line” because you’re dealing in bulk.  But, few of the local homesteaders were eager to suffer the transition.  The reason is obvious, of course.  Trust.  Can’t sell that. Read more…

The Art of Managing the Intangible

Author: admin  |  Category: Accessing the Abstract, Graphics, Imagery Member

“Dreamer.  You know you are a Dreamer.  But can you put your hands in your head?  Oh, no!”

It’s not too late to go back and re-discover the penultimate Progressive French-Canadian Rock Band of the latter 20th Century, SUPERTRAMP.

Granted, that’s not necessarily a cavernous niche of a musical genre.  I guess when someone nails it so precisely the first time, any followers who might seek to capitalize on the trailblazers’ success could likely find themselves disqualifyingly deficient in the ability to synthesize such talent, vision, and sensitivity.  Indeed, the question begs to be answered…Can you put your hands in your head?

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When you’ve had enough of Kid Stuff…

Author: admin  |  Category: Graphics, Imagery Member

Okay.  So, you thought you were going to save a few bucks.  It’s understandable.

You wanted the Hot New Web Technology to Market your Wares, and here was this brand new College Grad.  Sure, he probably spent the last few years happy to sleep on a mattress and bedspring splayed on the floor of his campus-close apartment.  Sure, his carpet was littered with weeks-old discarded cans of off-brand energy drinks and empty dehydrated-noodle packages.  It was all good to him, though, ’cause he never even noticed the scattered clutter.  Bro was laser-focused on his computer screen all through the night.  Battling demons.  Slaying Cyber-Commies on the other side of the globe in World of Warcraft or SOCOM.  Wicked! Holmes…I own you!

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Menus, Music, and PLUTOCRATES…or, The Phoenetic Bottleneck

Author: admin  |  Category: Graphics, Imagery Member, Semiology

I have clumsily stumbled upon an obvious revelation.  An underlying inefficiency has plagued our every attempt at written communication since the invention of Hieroglyphics.

Be more deliberate with your time.

Spare your Focus the Reading.  Reading is work!  What we’re really interested in is “Reality.” And our written language is several degrees removed from “Reality.”  Is it not?

There is the idea.  Then, there is the Instant Referencing of a Verbal Catalog.  Then, Verbal Judo!  Out come the Spoken Words.  Then, the Breakdown of those Sounds into Audio Sub-Parts to allow representation by Letters.  The Visual Analysis of those letters, demodulating them into a Mental-Audio Sound Bite.  And, at last, some Abstract Mental Model of that Idea’s Essence.  A Manifestation, from which elicits a Vague Neuro-Chemical and Spiritual Reaction.

Hey, it puts us in the neighborhood of our target.  But all that stuff in the middle makes it kind of like riding a Stage Coach across country.  It gets you there.  But only after Prolonged and Severe Agitation.

Non-linguistic visual stimulation removes the inner hose kink.

Consider this quote of a quote.

“Suppose a person were to make all kinds of figures of gold…—somebody points to one of them and asks what it is. By far the safest and truest answer is [to say] that it is gold; and not to call the triangle or any other figures which are formed in the gold “these” as though they had existence … And the same argument applies to the universal nature which receives all bodies—that must always be called the same; for, while receiving all things, she never departs at all from her own nature, and never…assumes a form like that of any of the things which enter into her; … But the forms which enter into and go out of her are the likenesses of real existences modelled after their patterns in a wonderful and inexplicable manner….”

That’s Plutocrates, according to Wikipediatotle.

Plutocrates is talking about “forms,” but he might as well be talking about words, and, as far as we’re interested, talking about written words.

There are “forms,” and there is the essence of that on which those forms are based…the “formness,” or the pure and ideal form.

But, the Delta between what is conceived and what is communicated is so great that it is akin to two people holding forth their hands, to touch one another, only to find a pane of glass in between their hands, so they touch the glass in pretty much the same place.

But, really, that only describes the inadequacies of the spoken language in dealing with ideas and concepts, and so forth. Here, we are writing about the written language. So, it would seem appropriate, that our touchers are actually blind, and that someone has to describe to them Where Their Hands Are, since they cannot even rely on their sense of sight to substitute for their Inability to Touch. Clearly, one can rely on their sense of sight when reading the written word (presuming they are not physically blind…let’s not get too far afield, here), so their blindness would only be representative in this case.  Such is the Written Word in comparison to ideas and concepts that spawned the attempt at communication.

So, what is the solution? Well, to my knowledge, with the exception of Chinese, and such languages as still use symbolic pictorials to communicate, we’ve long since abandoned the idea of using a Uniform system of graphics to represent anything and everything. Anyway, ask any Sinophone who knows, that form of communication is inefficient because it takes long to learn and is difficult to remember. The Egyptians, of course, abandoned their own Pictorial Symbology in favor of a Phonetic system. So much so, that no one even could remember the old system…until the Rosetta Stone showed up, as you may know.

Anyway…there I sit, in the restaurant, with the waitress wanting me to hurry up, and I can’t seem to make my way through the menu, which is full of all sorts of flowery descriptions of the food, all written out In Text! I mean…can a brother get a picture of what he’s going to eat?  Better yet…make it Scratch -n- Sniff.

Anyway, I’ve got to run. I’m in a hurry!  I have to go and coax my daughter to practice piano. It’s a struggle, you know. She doesn’t want to learn to read the notes. She wants to play everything by ear.