Okay.  So, you thought you were going to save a few bucks.  It’s understandable.

You wanted the Hot New Web Technology to Market your Wares, and here was this brand new College Grad.  Sure, he probably spent the last few years happy to sleep on a mattress and bedspring splayed on the floor of his campus-close apartment.  Sure, his carpet was littered with weeks-old discarded cans of off-brand energy drinks and empty dehydrated-noodle packages.  It was all good to him, though, ’cause he never even noticed the scattered clutter.  Bro was laser-focused on his computer screen all through the night.  Battling demons.  Slaying Cyber-Commies on the other side of the globe in World of Warcraft or SOCOM.  Wicked! Holmes…I own you!

Recruiters love the new grad because they’ll work like mad…and for nothing!  Sweet returns when you can put them in an environment where their objectives are clearly defined, and the consequences of concomitant immaturity are implicitly checked by the company culture.  The Corporate World works well for kids, because the Corporate World is a lot like the Scholastic environment, where they’ve spent every moment of their lives since they let go of Mama’s apron strings; they’re told when and where to show up…and they’re invariably given some sort of mentor and supervisor.  But, brother, beware the brats when they’re doing the Freelance Dance.

The Steal you thought you were getting when the newbie began panting like an adolescent pup at the mention of “a $1,000 job” comes back to bite you, big time.  That snotty little attitude escalates with each phone call, and he takes sometimes weeks to respond to your emails, if he even does at all.  And when you call him on it, he gives the lamest excuse ever heard. Of course, he is secretly stoked that such behavior ruins his reputation because, by this time, he really doesn’t want to work with you anymore.  In his eyes, you’re high maintenance…too uptight, too demanding…your ideas are lame, and, let’s face it, he’s special.  He’s the bomb.  His epic sense of entitlement drips from him like a pair of extra-baggy blue jeans.  Junior thinks Customer Support is a job for hapless hacks on the phone in some backward country where they don’t have enough drive-thrus to employ persons of that ilk.  In Junior’s vocabulary, the concept of Repeat Customers could only mean Clueless Idiots to whom you have to explain everything twice. Return on Investment? That means you want your money back, right?    Sadly, it doesn’t take long before he decides that the killer rate he was so eager to agree to suddenly seems like a rip-off.  The importance of Integrity and following through?  Ugh…just don’t have the attention span for that.

Sound familiar?  Have you been burned by this experience?  Have you had enough of Kid Stuff?

Not to be too hard on Junior.  Perhaps we’ve all been there at some time in our lives.  Besides, some of Junior’s customers are now our best customers!

Ah…thank you, Junior.  You’ve done our business a world of good!

Tags: Brats, Digital Design

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